


XOXO

by WeepingintheTARDIS



Series: How (not) to say "I love you" [3]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Alec Hardy Needs A Hug, Denial, F/M, Jealousy, Kissing, Texting, alec hardy is an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 01:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30081246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeepingintheTARDIS/pseuds/WeepingintheTARDIS
Summary: Hardy is learns about texting, Miller is confused about her feelings.(AKA Hardy is an idiot and Miller is in denial)Alternative continuation of J - Jealousy
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: How (not) to say "I love you" [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213250
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	1. Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is the same as J -Jealousy, but for the sake of wanting this to be a story that can be read independently I included it.

‘Miller!’ Hardy’s voice boomed from his office. ‘I could use your help here.’

It was a Sunday morning and both of them were at their respective desks, following up on a lead on a series of thefts. Two suspects had been taken into custody and Hardy had confiscated their phones. Currently he was going through the files stored on them while Ellie cross referenced locational data with cctv images. She had been staring blindly at a dark and mostly empty street when Hardy called her.

Ellie got up and wandered into the little office while rubbing the tiredness from her sore eyes. Sitting down at his desk she had to stifle a yawn before asking ‘Found anything?’ 

‘ ‘S this text. I don’t get it.’ He explained. ‘It ends with ex oh ex oh... What does that mean? Who signs a text with that?’

She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes again, trying to decide whether she should be surprised or not about the gap in Hardy’s common knowledge. ‘It’s just…’ she shrugged. How was she gonna explain the meaning of hugs and kisses to him? If she had to guess, her boss wouldn’t even understand what signing an x meant.

‘You’ve seen it before?’ He looked interested now, so she decided to go with that.

‘Of course I have.’ she nodded. ‘It’s very commonly used between friends.’

‘What kind of friends?’

She thought about it. ‘Good friends I guess. Me and Beth used it for a while.’

It hurt a little to say this out loud. Even though she and Beth were back to being friends, some things would never come back. The past had altered their friendship in an unrepairable way and this was one of the little things that reminded her that things would never go back to the way they were.

‘So it’s just slang?’ Hardy ventured. ‘Just a friendly way of greeting and nothing else?’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ she replied distractedly. ‘Wouldn’t it be faster if you let me go through the chat history?’

‘No need. I finished that hours ago.’ 

‘Oh.’ She blinked in surprise. ‘Then what’s this about?’

‘Take a look at this.’ He shoved his phone under her nose. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

Ellie blinked and moved her head back, putting some distance between her eyes and the screen so that she could actually read the text. It consisted of only four words.

- _ See you tomorrow! xoxo _

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Hardy hadn’t been fussing over a case file, but over his own phone. Well, that certainly changed things.

Ellie quickly checked who had sent it. The contact had been labelled “D”. A funny feeling bubbled up in her stomach. It was cold and empty at the same time, but mostly it was itchy and plainly unpleasant. Ellie couldn’t quite place it.

She coughed, regaining some of her composure. ‘What’s this then?’

‘A text.’ he said impatiently, clearly bothered that she seemed so slow on the uptake. He had taken off his glasses and was twirling them around in his fingers while looking at her expectantly.

Ellie coughed again, feeling her the tips of her ears glow. ‘It seems.’ she said slowly. ‘Like someone is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.’

‘Hmm.’ he stared at the screen until it turned black and seemed to consider this.

Ellie had expected him to look a bit happier about this, but the lines between his brows had deepened. He gave the impression that he was solving an extremely complex mathematical problem. She chuckled inwardly. In Hardy’s case maybe the maths would have been easier to navigate than the social aspects of his life.

‘Would it be weird if I used it in a reply?’

‘What?’ His eyes were looking at her helplessly. She quickly recovered and shook her head. ‘No, I suppose not.’

Ellie stared at his hands as Hardy thumbed a quick message for the mystery texter. She wondered who it could have been. Hardy had gone on at least one cheeky date, a few weeks back, but she hadn’t gotten the impression that it had been a success. She giggled at the memory of his shocked and bewildered expression as she had bumped into him afterwards. 

Hardy shot her a distracted glare.‘ Don’t you have work to do, Miller?’

‘I was-’ she started defensively, but he cut her off.

‘Quit the daydreaming. Out.’ he waved her towards the door. ‘Out. This case isn’t gonna solve itself.’

As it turned out it wouldn’t be Ellie who solved this case either. At least not today. She tried, she had really tried to focus on the casefiles in front of her, but her attention kept wavering. 

The odd feeling in her stomach had been growing more persistent until she could no longer ignore its presence. Her skin itched and she felt vaguely vacant. 

She kept mulling over the strange text, couldn’t stop wondering what it had to mean. Had it come from the same woman from that date? Or maybe he had met someone else afterwards? Or maybe even before his daughter had set up that dating profile…

There was no way Ellie could do her work like this. She had to figure out what was going on with Hardy first.

Her first attempt at unraveling the mystery text came a few hours later when Hardy was making a late lunch for himself.

‘So…’ Ellie drawled, circling him in the small kitchen not much unlike a predator stalks its prey. ‘What’s happening tomorrow?’

‘Tomorrow?’ Hardy raised an eyebrow at her.

‘The text.’ she clarified, then added pointedly. ‘Your date.’

‘Oh, that’s not a date.’ He waved dismissively. ‘I promised to make pasta. Her favourite.’

She processed this new piece of information. Hardy was cooking for his date, but still he didn’t seem overly enthusiastic about the whole thing. Or maybe, the voice in the back of Ellie’s head supplied helpfully, he just doesn’t want to discuss his dating life with his colleague. However, before she could ask further questions, the microwave pinged.

Ellie watched in both fascination and disgust as Hardy swiftly turned and retrieved a plate with an overcooked piece of bread. He stared at the steam rising from it and then sniffed it, then poked a finger at the soppy substance and scrunched his nose. She wondered if he was really gonna eat that.

The question was answered as Hardy reached in the sink and rinsed the knife that he had found there, before opening the jar of peanut butter.

‘That’s disgusting.’ she commented. ‘How can you put that in your mouth willingly?’

He ignored the question and started prodding experimantally at the peanut butter. ‘Do you need something, Miller?’

Being grossed out by his lunch had distracted her from her objective. Ellie couldn’t think of a single question that would provide her with more information. Not while his food was in front of her. So she gave up and left Hardy to his lunch.

She tried it a second time when she was getting ready to go home. Hardy was still immersed in the files on his computer screen when she knocked on the doorframe.

‘Day’s over.’ she announced. ‘Time to go home. Pack up your stuff.’

Hardy glanced at the clock and then back at his screen. ‘Alright.’ he sighed. ‘I’m stuck anyway.’

To Ellie this was a welcome victory. It didn’t happen often that he would come with her willingly. She was watching him finish up his work when she got an idea.

‘You never told me about your cheeky date.’

Her comment made him stiffen and sit up slowly. ‘My date?’

‘Yeah, you know. Dates.’ she said pointedly. ‘You. Going out. With women.’

‘One date, it was one date, Miller!’ Hardy groaned. His cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. ‘There’s nothing to talk about.’

‘Are you sure?’ 

‘Why are you suddenly so interested in my dating life?’ He squinted at her suspiciously.

‘You’re my friend. It’s a natural curiosity.’ 

‘No this is different. Before today you’ve never asked me about it.’

He was right. She hadn’t. She had only teased him about it when she’d bumped into him right after, but she hadn’t mentioned it again. Partially because she wasn’t sure how to approach the subject and partially because she wasn’t sure she actually wanted to know. Maybe she had gone too far. She was behaving like an idiot. A small amount of guilt manifested itself in the confusing cold bubbling of emotions that was already present. Her shoulders slouched and her gaze dropped in defeat.

‘It’s that text you showed me.’ she mumbled. ‘i just-’

She shrugged, not sure how to put it into words.

‘That text? What does that have to do with this? I already told you, it’s not- Wait.’ he stopped mid-track as his brain provided him with the answer. ‘Are you jealous?’

‘What, me?’ she feigned ignorance, failing miserably at sounding even the least convincing. ‘What should I be jealous of?’

It was a defence mechanism, trying to deny the truth that he had figured out before she had. That the empty feeling that had followed her all day could only mean one thing. She, Ellie Miller, was jealous. 

It was almost cute, the way Hardy’s gaze dropped and his expression changed from victorious annoyance to confused rejection. Ellie could see the doubt creep in, but it was too late to take her words back. The worst was the hurt that seeped through, even though he was clearly trying not to show it.

‘Well, I don’t know!’ He spit out at last. ‘How would I know?’

And with that he pushed past her and left.


	2. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies and odd requests

She had made a huge mistake and she had no idea how she was going to correct it. She couldn’t very well walk up to her boss and tell him ‘ _Good morning, sir. Here’s your tea and here are the reports you asked for. By the way, you were right that I’m jealous of your date._

No, that wouldn’t work. Besides, her being jealous was not the problem.

_What should I be jealous of?_

It had taken only six words and she had managed to hurt him in a way that was almost impossible to fix. The longer she thought about it, the more she became convinced that she had basically told him that he was worthless. 

_Green doesn’t suit you_ , she had told her reflection that evening when she was brushing her teeth, you need to get over it. Easier said than done, because whatever colour she prefered, Ellie still felt jealous. Now that she recognized and acknowledged it, the feeling had shifted from itching unease to a dull but insistent aching in her chest that wouldn’t let her sleep.

At first Ellie had tried to convince herself that she had jumped to the wrong conclusion about her feelings. She had just been surprised by the boldness of his secret texter. She certainly didn’t care that Hardy was going on dates and that someone had taken an interest in him.

Except she did care.

Changing tactics Ellie had tried to think of perfectly reasonable explanations why she should care. Hardy was her friend and she was concerned for his well being. She didn’t want him to end up with someone like Tess again. He deserved someone worthy, someone faithful, someone patient enough to ease him into opening up and make him feel comfortable enough to share his feelings. Ellie wanted him to be happy. She just wasn’t convinced that anyone was good enough to give him that.

No, that wasn’t true, not entirely. Ellie didn’t like the idea of someone else being capable of giving him that. 

This line of thought gave her pause. If her mind permitted no-one else to take care of Hardy, did that mean she wanted to do it herself?

The answer was a very non-surprising yes.

That should not be a problem, since they were friends. Hardy had been her closest friend for years.

That settled it. Ellie could take care of her friend and he could go on dates with anyone he liked. She would apologise tomorrow morning and everything would be fine.

With a firm nod to herself, she turned over and pulled the cover over her head, determined to finally get some sleep.

Unwanted images filled her head. Hardy’s hurt look. Hardy showing her the text and asking for help. A strange woman sitting at Hardy’s candlelit table while he served her pasta. Hardy laughing as he and the woman clinked their glasses. The woman holding Hardy’s hand and wrapping the other around his tie to pull him closer and-

The scene switched.

She was sitting at Hardy’s dinner table, tentatively reaching out for Hardy’s hand and entwining their fingers. Hardy was looking at her intently with those soft brown eyes, her own eyes drifting to his mouth. 

‘No.’ Ellie sat up, shaking off the intrusive thoughts. Priority was to apologise and that was hard enough without delving into feelings she might or might not have.

Unsurprisingly sleep wouldn’t come. Minutes became hours and when her alarm finally freed her from her misery, Ellie still had no clue what she was gonna tell Hardy.

Dreading the moment she had to talk to her boss, Ellie arrived at the station late and immediately ducked behind her computer screen. The whole morning she stared at her paperwork, progressing painstakingly slowly as her thoughts kept going back to the problem at hand. Each time her thoughts wavered, a fresh wave of guilt washed over her. She knew she had to apologise eventually, if only she knew how.

 _You’re being_ _ridiculous_ , she scolded herself, as she waited until Hardy left his office to get himself tea, before sneaking in and dumping the filled out paperwork on his desk. _This has to stop. It’s interfering with work._

‘Miller?’

She froze. The temperature in the room seemed to simultaneously rise and drop a few degrees. Ellie took a moment to gather herself before straightening and turning to face her boss.

Hardy was eyeing her suspiciously from the doorway.

‘Yes, sir?’

‘Are you avoiding me?’ 

Straight to the point then. She was determined not to let her gaze drop to the floor. ‘Maybe a bit.’

‘Why?’

Was he really so dense, or was he deliberately making this difficult.

_No time like the present._

‘About what I said yesterday…’ Her throat tightened and she swallowed, staggering on. ‘I wanted to- That is to say-’ Hysterical laughter fought its way up her throat and she had to fight to keep it from slipping out. This was ridiculous. Hardy was the one who was shit at apologies, not Ellie.

Hardy looked at her considerately, then stepped forward and softly closed the door behind him, giving them a bit more privacy.

She steeled herself and rushed through it.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that last bit, it was a terrible thing to say and you’re right, your date life is none of my concern.’

‘I never said that.’

‘I just- I care for you a lot, so... ‘ she trailed off. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

‘Okay.’ he looked a bit taken aback. ‘Thank you for saying that. Apology accepted.’

‘I understand if you’re still angry with me-

‘I’m not.’

‘- you’ve got every right to.’

‘Miller.’ He held up a hand to stop her ramble. ‘I’m not angry.’

‘You’re not?’ She finally found the courage to meet his gaze and saw indeed no anger lingering there. The look he was giving her could best be described as one of mild curiosity.

Hardy shrugged. ‘There’s no point in accepting an apology if I stay mad, is there?’

‘I suppose.’

She fidgeted lightly under his gaze, unsure what to make of the situation.

‘If that was all, Miller?’ 

‘Yes, sir.’ She moved, giving him room to step past her and slide behind his desk. She hesitated a moment, wondering if she could go, but when he gave no indication that he was going to say anything else, she decided to take it as her cue to leave. She was almost at the door when he spoke.

‘You’re invited for dinner.’

‘What?’ She turned and glared at him in disbelief. He simply stared back until she finally found her voice. ‘You can’t be serious.’

‘God’s sake, Miller…’ he groaned, rolling his eyes. ‘Just say yes, will ya?’

‘No!’

‘Why not?’

‘Because- Because…’ she threw up her hands in exasperation. ‘That’s beyond awkward. Why would you ask that? What about your date?’

‘It's not a date. Actually she insisted. So please say yes.’ Despite everything a hint of a smile glistened in his eyes. ‘Then I won’t have to threaten to -as you so elegantly put it- piss in a cup and throw it at you?’

The parallel with their conversation from years ago hadn’t been lost on her, but she was mildly surprised that he would bring that up. That hadn’t been one of her finer lines.

‘God, you’re so immature.’ Ellie rubbed her forehead, but couldn’t help a small chuckle at the memory. ‘Alright then. But let it be noted this is because I still owe you for that time. I’m doing this against my will.’

He just smiled. ‘Dinner’s at seven.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went in a completely different direction ^^  
> I'm sort of proud of myself for managing that


End file.
